Women Humor

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Women's humor: 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. 

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" 

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of North Carolina." 

And they say blondes are dumb... 
_____________________

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" 

The woman says, "I'll miss you..." 
_______________________

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" 

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. 
_______________________

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. 

She said - Well, you succeeded. 
______________________

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? 

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. 
_______________________

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? 

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror 
______________________

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? 

A: A rumor 
_______________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. 

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. 

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. 

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... 

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! 

Gotta love that fairy! 
__________________

AND THE BEST ONE YET... 

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST: 

* She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. 
* Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. 
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. 
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. 
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

 

 

 

More funny jokes are listed on the left hand side or listed in the Jokes page.

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