-
"Hard work never killed anybody." But
why take the risk?" - Anonymous
-
"... People would like to think that
there's somebody up there who knows what he's doing. since we don't
participate, we don't control and we don't even think about questions of
vital importance. we hope somebody is paying attention who has some
competence. let's hope the ship has a captain, in other words, since we're
not taking part in what's going on... it is an important feature of the
ideological system to impose on people the feeling that they really are
incompetent to deal with these complex and important issues: they'd better
leave it to the captain. one device is to develop a star system, an array of
figures who are media creations or creations of the academic propaganda
establishment, who's deep insights we are supposed to admire and to whom we
must happily and confidently assign the right to control our lives and to
control international affairs..." - Noam Chomsky
-
"1 + 2 = 3. Therefore 4 + 5 = 6."
-
"1: Are you trying to make a fool of me?
2: No. Natures already done that. I'm just giving you an audience."
-
"1: What're we going to do tonight,
Brain?" 2: The same thing we do every night, Pinky -try to TAKE OVER THE
WORLD!"
-
"1: You sleeping? 2: No, just dead."
-
"1: You've only got one arm why do you
have three pistols? 2: I don't want to get killed for lack of shooting
back."
-
"1:We want to help you. 2:But what if I
LIKE being a mindless psychopath?"
-
"1:You just shot an unarmed man! 2:Well
he should have armed himself."
-
"186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good
idea, it's the LAW."
-
"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of
2."
-
"29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast."
-
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." -
Bill Gates, 1981
-
"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving
guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce." - Don Quinn {Men and
Women}
-
"A burp is not an answer." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have
climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room." - Ellen
-
"A colleague once told me that the world
was full of bad security systems designed by people who read Applied
Cryptography" - Bruce Schneier (author of Applied Cryptography).
-
"A computer program is a message from a
man to a machine. The rigidly marshaled syntax and the scrupulous
definitions all exist to make intention clear to the dumb engine." -
Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month
-
"A conscience is what hurts when all
your other parts feel so good." - Anonymous
-
"A cult is any religion without
political power."
-
"A cynic smells
flowers and looks for a casket."
-
"A dress is like a barbed fence. It
protects the premises without restricting the view." - Anonymous
-
"A drunken man's words are a sober man's
thoughts."
-
"A dyslexic
agnostic doesn't believe in Dog."
-
"A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax
is a fine for doing well." - Anonymous
-
"A first principal for success is the
constant and frequent use of violence."
-
"A friend is someone who knows all about
you and and still likes you." - Elbert Hubbard
-
"A friend might well be reckoned the
masterpiece of nature." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
-
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
-
"A good soldier should kill something
every day."
-
"A good workman is known by his tools."
- Proverb
-
"A husband is what's left of the lover
after the nerve has been extracted." - Helen Rowland
-
"A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two
heads are better than one."
-
"A man is in love when something in his
head, something in his and chest and something in his pants react to a
certain woman." - Brian Hwang
-
"A man needs a mistress, just to break
the monogamy." - Unknown {Men and Women}
-
"A nation . . . is just a society for
hating foreigners."
-
"A positive attitude will not solve all
your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
- Herm Albright
-
"A problem worthy of attack proves it's
worth by fighting back." - Piet Hein
-
"A prudent question is one-half wisdom."
- Francis Bacon
-
"A radioactive cat has 18 half-lives."
-
"A rumor without a leg to stand on will
get around some other way."
-
"A scientist builds in order to learn;
an engineer learns in order to build." - Fred Brooks
-
"A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to
the sea." - Dutch Proverb
-
"A single death is a tragedy; a million
deaths is a statistic."
-
"A small mind is easily filled with
faith."
-
"A snooze button is a poor substitute
for no alarm clock at all." - Anonymous
-
"A wise man proportions his belief to
the evidence." -David Hume
-
"A witty saying proves nothing." -
Voltaire (1694-1778)
-
"A woman seldom asks advice before she
has bought her wedding clothes." - Joseph Addison
-
"Absence extinguishes small passions and
increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and fans a bonfire." -
La Rochefoucauld
-
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." -
Thomas Haynes Bayly
-
"Abstinence is the worst form of
perversion." - Guy de Maupassant, 1850 - 1893
-
"Add little to little and there will be
a big pile." - Ovid
-
"Adrenaline. A legal drug."
-
"After twelve years of therapy my
psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No
hablo ingles.'" - Ronnie Shakes
-
"Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid
Disappointment." - Anonymous
-
"Alcohol, cause of, and solution to, all
of life's problems." - Homer Simpson
-
"All democracies turn into dictatorships
— but not by coup. The people give their democracy to a dictator, whether
it's Julius Caesar or Napoleon or Adolf Hitler. Ultimately, the general
population goes along with the idea ..." - George Lucas
-
"All mankind loves a lover." - Ralph
Waldo Emerson
-
"All models are wrong; some models are
useful." - George Box
-
"All our knowledge is symbolic." -
Goethe, Table Talk
-
"All the objects of human reason or
inquiry may naturally be divided into two kinds, to wit, 'Relations of
Ideas' and 'Matters of Fact.'" - David Hume, An Inquity Concerning Human
Understanding
-
"All the passions make us commit faults;
love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones." - La Rochefoucauld {Success
and Failure}
-
"All the things I really like to do are
either immoral, illegal, or fattening."
-
"All you need in this life is ignorance
and confidence, and then success is sure."
-
"All you need in this life is ignorance
and confidence, and then success is sure."
-
"Aluminum foil makes a nice hat. And it
blocks the government's mind-control rays." - CheezHankrn
-
"Always do right. This will gratify some
people and astonish the rest."
-
"America is the only country that went
from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
-
"American components....Russian
components.... All made in Taiwan." - Lev Andropov, Armageddon
-
"An armed society is a polite society."
-
"An elite group of less than a billion
people now take more than 80 per cent of the world's wealth." - John Pilger
-
"An expert problem solver must be
endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a
patient pertinacity." - Howard W. Eves
-
"And GOD said 'Don't make me come down
there!'" - Anonymous
-
"Anger is an energy."
-
"Any fool can tell the truth, but it
requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well."
-
"Any rational decision may be viewed as
a conclusion reached from certain premises... The behavior of a rational
person can be controlled, therefore, if the value and factual premises upon
which he bases his decisions are specified for him." - Simon,
Decision-Making and Administrative Organization, 1944
-
"Any smoothly functioning technology
will have the appearance of magic."
-
"Any time you have influence, try
ordering around someone else's dog."
-
"Anybody not wearing a two-million sun
block is gonna have a pretty bad day." - Linda Hamilton, Terminator 2
-
"Anyone who is capable of getting
themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." -
Douglas Adams
-
"Anything worth doing, is worth
over-doing." - Anonymous
-
"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab
together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." - Johnny
Carson
-
"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man
with seven wives. Every wife had seven sacks, every sack had seven cats,
every cat had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks, and wives, how many were going
to St. Ives?" - Anonymous (repeated by 'Simon' in Die Hard With a Vengeance)
-
"As long as I have you there is just one
other thing I'll always need -- tremendous self control." - Ashleigh
Brilliant
-
"As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take the course he will. He will be sure to repent." - Socrates
-
"Assume anyone you meet is a drooling
moron until proven otherwise." - CheezHankrn
-
"Assume you're an IDIOT, then you'll
always impress yourself." -Vildman-ism
-
"Bad news sells."
-
"Beer is living proof that God loves us
and wants to see us happy." - Benjamin Franklin
-
"Before you criticize someone, walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have
their shoes." - Jack Handey
-
"Before you find your handsome prince,
you have to kiss a lot of frogs." - Unknown
-
"Behind every successful man, there is a
woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two." - Anonymous
-
"Being a manipulative scum is fun. and
everyone is, they just don't admit it." - CheezHankrn
-
"Being brave is good. Being smart is
better, and usually a lot less painful."
-
"Being captain is about intuition and
heart. A good captain can't have either one." - Professor, Futurama
-
"Better crippled in body than corrupt in
mind."
-
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same." - Oscar Wilde
-
"Bills travel through the mail at twice
the speed of checks." - Anonymous
-
"Blessed is the mind too small for
doubt."
-
"Born into this world: I never asked for
this."
-
"Boys and Girls come out to play on the
busy motorway."
-
"Brave people may not live for long, but
cautious don't live at all." - Royal Body-guard, The Princess Diaries
-
"Bring me a sane man and I shall cure
him." - Carl Jung
-
"Burning desire is the eternal flame." -
Doug Horton
-
"Burning in water, Drowning in flames."
-
"But what ... is it good for?" -
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting
on the microchip.
-
"By the time you can make ends meet,
they move the ends." - Anonymous
-
"C combines the power of assembler with
the portability of assembler." -Anonymous
-
"C++ has not lost touch with C's primary
virtues." - Bjarne Stroustrup
-
"Chewing on glass and walking on
splinters."
-
"Children in backseats cause accidents.
Accidents in backseats cause children." - Anonymous
-
"Civilisation is only a pretense. In
crisis we have become mere apes again, forgetting the rational biped of our
pretensions and instead becoming the hairy primate at the mouth of the cave,
screeching at the enemy wishing it would go away, fingering the heavy stone
we will use the moment it comes close enough" - Orson Scott Card, Xenocide
-
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have
little or no influence on society."
-
"Coffee is not for kids." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Come forth ye wicked, know the curse of
pain."
-
"Computer science is as much about
computers as astronomy is about telescopes." - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra:
1930-2002
-
"Computers in the future may weigh no
more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march
of science, 1949
-
"Conform and be dull." - James Frank
Dobie
-
"Confusion is a fundamental state of
mind."
-
"Connect the goddamn dots!"
-
"Conscience is the inner voice that
warns us somebody may be looking."
-
"Conscience is the inner voice that
warns us somebody may be looking." - H. L. Mencken
-
"Contact with alien races always renews
one faith in humanity."
-
"Contention is better than loneliness."
- Unknown
-
"Crime pays when pigs die." - Some punk
band
-
"Curiosity will conquer fear even more
than bravery will."
-
"Curiosity will conquer fear even more
than bravery will." - James Stephens
-
"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying
the truth."
-
"Death meant little to me. It was the
last joke in a series of bad jokes."
-
"Democracy is the worst system in the
world, except for all the others..." - Anonymous
-
"Despite the cost of living, have you
noticed how it remains so popular?" - Anonymous
-
"Didn't we meet in Monte Carlo the night
you blew your brains out? Oh, how we laughed. Ha ha ha."
-
"Die screaming with sharp things in your
head."
-
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice
doggie' until you can find a rock." -Will Rogers
-
"DISCLAIMER: My opinions are my own and
no one elses (but I can recommend 'em!)"
-
"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda,
StarWars
-
"Do unto others as they would do to
you... And do it first."
-
"Do unto others as they would do to
you... And do it first." - CP2020
-
"Do unto others... And then loot the
bodies." - CP2020
-
"Do you believe in first love - or
should I pass by again?" - anonymous
-
"Do you ever wonder how much deeper the
ocean would be without sponges?" - Anonymous
-
"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff." -
Anonymous
-
"Don't need god, Don't need love, just
need a gutful o' Burboun and a headful o' sleep."
-
"Don't shoot 'til you see the backs of
their heads!"
-
"Don't think of it as being vastly
outnumbered. Think of it as having a very wide shot selection."
-
"Don't want enough left of me to scrape
up."
-
"Dying is the science of eternal
relaxation." - rv
-
"Eat any good books lately?"
-
"Eliminate all rational thought."
-
"Engineering is the application of
scientific principles toward practical ends. If the engineering isn't
practical, it's bad engineering." - Steve McConnell, After The Gold Rush
-
"Engineers produce plans. Builders
implement the plans to produce a product." - Terri Maginnis
-
"Every bullet has its billet." - William
III of England, Prince Of Orange
-
"Every man should marry. After all,
happiness is not the only thing in life." - Anonymous
-
"Every time you clap your hands you kill
thousands of spores that will someday form a nutritious fungus. Just show
your approval with a mole friendly thumbs up." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder
of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama
-
"Everybody is equal... just don't
mention it."
-
"Everybody's strange; I'm normal." - rv
-
"Experience is a dear teacher, but fools
will learn at no other." - Poor Richard's Almanac
-
"Experience is a wonderful thing. It
enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." - Anonymous
-
"Experience is the name everyone gives
his mistakes."
-
"Express the psychedelic with the
cybernetic. Turn on, tune in and boot up." - Dr Timothy Leary
-
"Eye for eye and the world will go
blind." - Ghandi
-
"Faith is believing what you know ain't
so." -Mark Twain
-
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so
intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
-
"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense
of irony" - Laurence Fishburne, Matrix
-
"Fear is your greatest weapon and your
worst enemy."
-
"Feeling stupid? Then put a gun to your
head and blow away those cobwebs."
-
"Five days is not too long to wait for a
gun." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Flirting is the gentle art of making a
man feel pleased with himself." - Helen Rowland {Men and Women}
-
"Fly through the blackness of the
storm."
-
"For brevity is very good, Where we are,
or are not understood." - Samuel Butler, Hudibras
-
"For every battle honour a thousand
heroes die alone, unsung and unremembered."
-
"For how is it possible, says that acute
man, that when a concept is given me, I can go beyond it and connect with it
another which is not contained in it, in such a manner as if that latter
necessarily belonged to the former?" - Immanuel Kant, Prolegomena to a
Future Metaphysics
-
"For one human being to love another:
that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test
and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." - Rainer
Maria Rilke
-
"Friendly fire isn't."
-
"Friendly like a hand grenade."
-
"Friends may come, and Friends may go,
but Enemies accumulate."
-
"Funny noises are not funny." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Geographically, Australia is a long way
from anywhere. To Americans, it conjures up images of fuzzy marsupials, not
computer hackers." - Suelette Dreyfus, Underground
-
"Get lost. If I want any shit I'll just
squeeze your head." - Gumshoe
-
"Get over here! I'm gonna eat ya! I'm
bigger than you. I'm higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!" - Mike
Myers as Fat Bastard
-
"Get your facts first, and then you can
distort them as much as you please."
-
"Gil: He's not gonna talk. We're gonna
have to kill him. Mike: Maybe we should take the gag off, Gil."
-
"Go the extra mile. It makes your boss
look like an incompetent slacker." - Anonymous
-
"God forgives - the Brotherhood
doesn't." - Lance Henriksen, Stone Cold
-
"God made relatives; Thanks God we can
choose our friends." - Anonymous
-
"Going to church doesn't make you a
Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." - Anonymous
-
"Goldfish don't bounce." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Good business man never reveals his
secrets especially if he himself is not very sure about them." - Rajeev
Kumar Gupta
-
"Good cooking takes time. If you are
made to wait, it is to serve you better, and to please you." - Menu Of
Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans
-
"Good intentions are no substitute for a
running chainsaw."
-
"Good way to avoid frostbite folks, is
to put your hands between your buttocks, that's natures pocket." - Free
Waterfall Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama
-
"Grab your pick, grab your shovel and
head on down to the Amish rumble."
-
"Grab your pick, grab your shovel and
head on down to the Amish rumble." - Strapping Young Lad
-
"Half the battle is just showing up." -
Anonymous
-
"Hands up who wants to die!"
-
"Hang in there, retirement is only
thirty years away!" - Anonymous
-
"Happiness is causing misery."
-
"Happiness: An agreeable sensation
arising from contemplating the misery of another." - Ambrose Bierce: The
Devil's Dictionary {Success and Failure}
-
"Hate is so much easier to feel than
love."
-
"Hatred is toxic waste in the river of
life." - Unknown
-
"Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the
occasion of another's superiority." - Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary
{Success and Failure}
-
"He that will not apply new remedies
must expect new evils for time is the greatest innovator." - Francis Bacon
-
"He uses love for
sex, she uses sex for love." - Shelter
-
"He uses words, as weapons, to hit
people over the head with."
-
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest." -
Anonymous
-
"He who paints toilet is a shithouse
painter."
-
"He who stands on toilet is high on
pot."
-
"He who wonders discovers that this in
itself is wonder."
-
"Health is merely the slowest possible
speed at which you can die."
-
"Hearts are often broken when words are
unspoken." - Unknown
-
"Hell is calling. It cannot be denied."
-
"He'll make you wish that you didn't
exist."
-
"He'll sit here and he'll say, 'Do this!
Do that!' And nothing will happen." - Harry S. Truman, On Presidential Power
-
"Hello, I'm from the government, and I'm
here to help." - Ronald Reagan, 10 scariest words in the English language
-
"Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half." -
Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary
-
"Her kisses left something to be desired
-- the rest of her." - Unknown
-
"He's a walking example of death after
life."
-
"He's an unsociable bastard right now...
the acid hasn't kicked in." - Prodigy
-
"He's got a face even a mother could
hate."
-
"He's so sold on himself he probably
thinks someone should bottle his piss and sell it as perfume."
-
"Hey, space is a tough place where wimps
eat flaming plasma death."
-
"Hmm, officer, we just found Bob's
bullet-riddled body buried in the end zone at Giants Stadium. I think I
detect a crime here." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies
-
"Hollywood is a place where people from
Iowa mistake each other for stars."
-
"Honestly, the first time that Mr. Gates
ever hears my name will not be because I have done something right. I am
sure that it would be quite the opposite." - Mike Truitt, Microsoft
Corporation
-
"Honk if you love peace and quiet." -
Anonymous
-
"Hope is a good breakfast, but it's a
bad supper." - Francis Bacon
-
"Hope is the beginning of unhappiness."
-
"How can I know you? I don't even know
myself."
-
"How does a project get to be a year
late? ... One day at a time." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical
Man-Month
-
"Humans rely on the altruism of
gravity." - Alex Nikiforov
-
"Humour lies in other peoples
misfortunes."
-
"I always say that, next to a battle
lost, the greatest misery is a battle gained."
-
"I am feeling a bit better each day and
hope that the temporal sequence is not a Cauchy sequence with a negative
limit! :)" - Rohid Parikh
-
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate
everyone equally."
-
"I am not attacking anything. I just
poke at things and watch them wobble." - Alex Beylin, commenting on Fetid
Monkey's quote
-
"I am not authorized to fire substitute
teachers." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I am not deliciously saucy." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"i am not doing nothing" - ruyiy
-
"I am not sincere, even when I say I am
not."
-
"I am the law!" - Silvestor Stalone,
Judge Dredd
-
"I believe that every right implies a
responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty."
-
"I bring salvation, punishment and
pain."
-
"I can call spirits from the vasty
deep.; Why so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call
them?" - Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part I
-
"I can picture a world without war,
without conflict, and I can picture us attacking that world. Because they
would never expect it."
-
"I conquer evil, Let evil know my name."
-
"I converted a Christian 'Scientist' to
evolution by pointing you out as the missing link."
-
"I converted a Christian 'Scientist' to
evolution by pointing you out as the missing link."
-
"I didn't cheat, I only copied the
answer." - rv
-
"I do not fear computers. I fear the
lack of them."
-
"I do not have diplomatic immunity." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I don't defend anything. I just poke at
things and watch them wobble." - Fetid Monkey
-
"I don't fear God-
I fear His believers..." - Anonymous
-
"I don't have any solution, but I
certainly admire the problem."
-
"I don't like my job and I don't think
I'll go anymore." - Peter Gibbons, Office Space
-
"I don't necessarily agree with
everything I say."
-
"I don't panic because I just don't
care."
-
"I don't think anyone should write their
autobiography until after they're dead."
-
"I don't want the world I just want your
part." -TMBG
-
"I don't want the world. I just want
your part."
-
"I don't want to achieve immortality
through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen
-
"I find television very educating. Every
time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." -
Groucho Marx
-
"I forgive my enemies, but I never
forget their names."
-
"I forgive my enemies, but I never
forget their names."
-
"I hate the fat but I love the food." -
rv
-
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, and
violence... but they've always worked for me."
-
"I have a dog. His name's Elvis. And
when I give him a joint he speaks to me."
-
"I have a great diet. You're allowed to
eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people." - Ed
Bluestone
-
"I have a whole cubicle to myself!" -
particle
-
"I have come to the conclusion that my
subjective account of my own motivation is largely mythical on almost all
occasions. I don't know why I do things." - J.B.S. Haldane
-
"I have made this letter longer than
usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." - Blaise Pascal
(1623-1662)
-
"I have never listened to anyone who
criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this
occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room."
-
"I have never seen an experienced
programmer who routinely made detailed flow charts before beginning to write
programs." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month
-
"I have no fear for my sanity, My fear
is what will happen to those around me when my sanity snaps."
-
"I have no fear of man or beast."
-
"I have seen the truth, and it makes no
sense."
-
"I have strong opinions of my own but I
don't always agree with them." - George W. Bush
-
"I have to love humankind To kill them
all would take too fucking long." - Pantera
-
"I have traveled the length and breadth
of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that
data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in
charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957
-
"I hope I die in a freakish way, by an
act of sheer stupidity."
-
"I know God won't give me more than I
can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Theresa
-
"I know no way of judging the future but
by the past." - Patrick Henry
-
"I know not what weapons world war 3
will be fought with, but world war 4 will be fought with sticks and stones"
- Albert Einstein
-
"I know that there are people who do not
love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
-
"I know that there are people who do not
love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!" - Tom Lehrer
-
"I left them to wallow in their own
ineptitude."
-
"I left them to wallow in their own
ineptitude." - My Aunt Judy Gibbs
-
"I let my mind wander and it didn't come
back!"
-
"I like you. You remind me of when I was
young and stupid." - Anonymous
-
"I may contradict myself, but at least I
don't contradict myself." - Anonymous
-
"I might not know where I'm going but
damned if I'm going to get there late."
-
"I nearly drowned while channel
surfing."
-
"I never forget a face, but in your case
I'll make an exception."
-
"I never thought it would be easy but
no-one said it would be THIS hard."
-
"I once played a sheriff who thought he
could do the job without a gun. I was dead in twenty-seven minutes of a
thirty minute show."
-
"I pray for the strength to change what
I can, the inability to accept what I can't and the inability to tell the
difference."
-
"I predict that exact reproduction
through cloning will not become popular. Too many people already find it
difficult to live with themselves."
-
"I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to
the indifference of wisdom."
-
"I really believe the things I say to
you, It's just that none of them are true."
-
"I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's
lounge." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I see you've set aside this special
time to humiliate yourself in public." - Anonymous
-
"I stand while others fall."
-
"I started out with nothing, and I still
have most of it." - Anonymous
-
"I think I'll watch the dot for a few
more hours."
-
"I think there is a world market for
maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
-
"I think we should call the creation of
the universe 'The HORRENDOUS SPACE KABLOOIE!'"
-
"I understand the fury in your words,
but not the words." - William Shakespeare, Othello
-
"I use not only all the brains I have,
but all I can borrow."
-
"I used to think he was sensitive but
then I found he was just spineless."
-
"I used to think he was sensitive but
then I found he was just spineless." - Cybill
-
"I usually try to keep my sadness pinned
up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness." - Turanga Leela,
Futurama
-
"I want to embalm your body in sulphuric
acid."
-
"I want to die. Well, no I don't, not
really, I want everyone ELSE to die."
-
"I want to rock and roll all night, and
party every day!" - KISS (Rock Band)
-
"I was a victim of a series of
accidents, as are we all." - Malachi Constant (Sirens of Titan, by Kurt
Vonnegut)
-
"I was never less alone than when by
myself." - Edward Gibbon
-
"I was soooo wasted. I had such dry
mouth I was spitting chalk."
-
"I was wrong to prove that you were
right." - rv
-
"I will not aim for the head." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not barf unless I'm sick" - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not bring sheep to class." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not bury the new kid." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not call the principal "spud
head"." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not carve gods." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not celebrate meaningless
milestones." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not charge admission to the
bathroom." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not conduct my own fire drills."
- Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not eat things for money." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not expose the ignorance of the
faculty." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not fake seizures." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not go near the kindergarten
turtle." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not prescribe medication." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not rest until his blood is
spilled, All his bones will be broken and his body scattered across the
field."
-
"I will not sell miracle cures." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not skateboard in the halls." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not snap bras." - Bart Simpson's
Chalkboard
-
"I will not spank others." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not teach others to fly." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not waste chalk." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll
call." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I will return the seeing-eye dog." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"I wish someone would tell me what
'Ditty wah ditty' means." - Arthur Blake
-
"I wished the buck stopped here, as I
could use a few." - Anonymous
-
"I won't tell you what I'm having for
lunch but I sure feel sorry for my tapeworm."
-
"I wouldn't join any club that would
have me as a member."
-
"I find your "use" of "quotation marks"
somewhat "confusing." Do you "mean" them as "irony" or as "emphasis?" Just
"asking."' - Twirlip of the Mists (/.)
-
"It is now proved beyond doubt that
smoking is one of leading causes of statistics." - Fletcher Knebel
-
"I'd like to meet the man who invented
sex and see what he's working on now." - Unknown {Vice and Virtue}
-
"I'd rather be a failure at something I
enjoy than be a success at something I hate."
-
"I'd rather have a bottle infronta me
than a frontal lobotomy."
-
"I'd say I don't believe in God, but I'm
afraid He might hear me." - Anonymous
-
"I'd see a shrink but they're too
expensive So I'll just talk to myself."
-
"If a child lives with approval, he
learns to like himself." - Dorothy Law Nolte
-
"If at first you don't succeed, try
management." - Anonymous
-
"If brute force doesn't work, you're not
using enough brute force."
-
"If god is bad, then bad is good." - rv
-
"If god is everything, and everything
includes bad, then god is bad." - particle
-
"If God lived on earth, people would
knock out all his windows."
-
"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be
the happiest man alive."
-
"If I only had a little humility, I
would be perfect."
-
"If I was gonna buy you flowers, where
would I send ... NO, if I was gonna let you Suck My Tounge, would you be
greatful?" - Nicolas Cage, Face Off
-
"If ignorance is bliss just try to wipe
the smile from my face."
-
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all
be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel
-
"If love is the answer, could you
rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin
-
"If Mary had've had an abortion would we
now worship a coathanger instead of a cross?"
-
"If more of us valued food and cheer and
song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien
-
"If only bad habits could be broken as
easily as hearts!" - Christopher Spranger: The Effort to Fall {Vice and
Virtue}
-
"If rubbing frozen dirt in your crouch
is wrong, then I don't want to be right." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder of
Penguins Unlimited, Futurama
-
"If the gods are watching, the very
least we can do is be entertaining."
-
"If there is anything better than being
loved, it's loving." - Unknown
-
"If there is no God, who pops up the
next Kleenex?"
-
"If we cannot define good without
defining bad, then being bad is good." - particle
-
"If we deny love that is given to us, if
we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be
empty, our loss greater." - Unknown
-
"If we knew what we were doing we
wouldn't be research." - Illuminati card
-
"If women ruled the world, would
missiles be shaped differently???" - Some Unknown Comedian
-
"If you are afraid of loneliness, don't
marry." - Anton Chekhov
-
"If you burp and fart at the same time
could it create a vacuum in your middle and make you implode?"
-
"If you cannot convince them, confuse
them."
-
"If you can't make someone happy, make
them chocolate fudge cake."
-
"If you die from using my equipment you
get a full refund."
-
"If you do not surrender, I shall be
forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet."
-
"If you do not surrender, I shall be
forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet." - Peter
O'Toole, "Club Paradise"
-
"If you haven't got anything nice to say
about anybody, come sit next to me."
-
"If you lined up all the cars in the
world end to end, someone would try to pass them." - Anonymous
-
"If you love someone, tell them. They
won't be the only one glad that you did." - Jamie C. Scott
-
"If you love something, turn it loose.
If it doesn't come back, kill it!" - Doug Horton {Altruism and Cynicism}
-
"If you must choose between two evils,
pick the one you've never tried before." - Anonymous
-
"If you pick up a starving dog and make
him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference
between a dog and a man."
-
"If you tell the boss you were late for
work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat
tire." - George E. Woodberry
-
"If you think nobody cares if you're
alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
-
"If you think there are no new
frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date." - Olin
Miller
-
"If you think you can, you can. And if
you think you can't, you're right."
-
"If you wait until something is broken
to fix it... there may not be anything left to fix." - John Martin (Taco
Bell Inc. Manager), September 1988
-
"If you wanna touch the sky you gotta be
prepared to die." - Butthole Surfers
-
"If you're not a rebel by the time
you're 20 you have no Heart. If you're not establishment by the time you're
30 you have no Brain." - Swimming with Sharks
-
"If you're too open-minded, your brains
will fall out." - Anonymous
-
"Ignorance is bliss."
-
"I'll try being nicer if you try being
smarter." - Anonymous
-
"I'm a great housekeeper. I get
divorced. I keep the house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
-
"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm
going, but I'm on my way."
-
"I'm basically a very lazy person who
likes to get credit for things other people actually do." - Linus Torvalds
-
"I'm completely operational and all my
circuits are functioning perfectly." - HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey by
Arthur C. Clarke
-
"I'm desperately trying to figure out
why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison
-
"I'm drinking soup! Would you mind not
trying to make me work!"
-
"I'm face down in the gutter, but I'm in
a pool of piss so at least I can see the reflections of the stars."
-
"I'm going to donate all the snot I
sneeze to hospitals for mucus transfusions."
-
"I'm late because you're early." - rv
-
"I'm not afraid of life. I just don't
know where it is anymore."
-
"I'm not into working out. My
philosophy: No pain, no pain." - Carol Leifer
-
"I'm not so sure the role of the United
States is to go around the world and say this is the way it's got to be. ...
And maybe it's just our difference in government, the way we view
government, I mean, I want to empower people, I don't - you know, I want to
help people help themselves, not have government tell people what to do. I
just don't think it's the role of the United States to talk into a country
and say, We do it this way, so should you. ... I think the United States
must be humble and must be proud and confident of our values, but humble in
how we treat nations that are figuring out how to chart their own course." -
George W. Bush, during the second presidential debate, October 11th, 2000
-
"I'm really easy to get along with once
you see it my way." - Anonymous
-
"I'm seriously considering eating your
wife" - Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in Hannibal
-
"I'm sorry Dave; I can't let you do
that." - HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke
-
"I'm the one your Bible warned you
about."
-
"I'm too fat to go chasing you around,
I'll just blast some holes in you."
-
"In a race against time, cheating is the
only solution." - particle
-
"In a symbol there is concealment and
yet revelation: here therefore, by Silence and by Speech acting together,
comes a double significance." - Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
-
"In life, only the insane have the
strength to survive; Only those who survive truly judge what is sane."
-
"In the beginning there was nothing. God
said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing,
but you could see it a whole lot better." - Ellen DeGeneres
-
"In the City of God there will be a
great thunder, Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb [...] The third big war will begin when the
big city is burning." - Nostradamus 1654 (Fake Nostradamus Quote)
-
"In the end, we will conserve only what
we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what
we are taught." - Baba Dioum
-
"In the war between good and evil, evil
has more fun!"
-
"In times of horror and torment prayer
is a great thing Nobody answers But at least it stops you from thinking."
-
"In times of horror and torment prayer
is a great thing Nobody answers But at least it stops you from thinking." -
George MacDonald Fraser, Flashman
-
"Incompatibility: In matrimony a
similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination." - Ambrose
Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary
-
"INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY."
- Anonymous
-
"Inspiration grows from the barrel of a
gun."
-
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you
just happy to see me?" - Mae West
-
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I
can't understand that bothers me - it's the parts that I do understand."
-Mark Twain
-
"It doesn't matter, I'll probably get
hit by a car anyway."
-
"It is a capital mistake to theorize in
advance of the facts..." - Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherklock Homes
-
"It is a physical impossibility to carry
too much ammo."
-
"It is bad luck to be superstitious."
-
"It is best to love wisely, no doubt;
but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all." -
William Makepeace Thackeray
-
"It is better to be hated for what you
are than loved for what you are not."
-
"It is better to be hated for what you
are than loved for what you are not." - Andre Gide
-
"It is common sense to take a method and
try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try
something." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
-
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than
to forgive a friend." - William Blake
-
"It is impossible to love and be wise."
- Francis Bacon
-
"It is impossible to make anything
foolproof, because fools are so ingenious." - anonymous
-
"It is impossible
to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as
one's hat keeps blowing off." - Woody Allen
-
"It is my belief that travel narrows the
mind wonderfully."
-
"It is not necessary for the public to
know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not
necessary for me to know it myself." - Salvador Dali
-
"It is not necessary to understand
things in order to argue about them." - Pierre Augustin Caron de
Beaumarchais, French author-dramatist
-
"It is not what we do, but also what we
do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere
-
"It is odd, is it not, that a person's
worth to society is measured by wealth, when instead wealth should be
measured by worth to society." - Pierce Thorne
-
"It looks obvious until you try it." -
IEEE Software
-
"It may be that our role on this planet
is not to worship god but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke
-
"It was recently discovered that
research causes cancer in rats." - Anonymous
-
"It's a fine line between clever and
stupid." - Sean M. Dugan
-
"It's a funny thing about life: If you
refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
-
"Its a Satanic, drug thing... You
wouldn't understand."
-
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want
to paint it." - Steven Wright
-
"It's better the kill the animal before
you eat it, Otherwise it tends to scream when you bite into it."
-
"'Its better to have loved and lost than
never to have loved at all." - Alfred Tennyson
-
"It's better to keep one's mouth shut
and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt." -Abraham
Lincoln
-
"It's easy to identify people who can't
count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." -
Anne
-
"It's easy to sit there and say you'd
like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy.
Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. " - JH
-
"It's enlightening to see what a narrow
trickle the mainstream really is."
-
"It's God's responsibility to forgive
Bin Laden... It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting!" - United
States Armed Forces
-
"Its lonely here, there's no one left to
torture."
-
"It's not denial. I'm just very
selective about the reality I accept."
-
"It's not easy taking my problems one at
a time when they refuse to get in line." - Ashleigh Brilliant
-
"Its only funny till someone gets hurt
Then its absolutely hilarious."
-
"I've become just what I wanted to be
all along, a psychopathic poet, the devils bastard son."
-
"I've been trying for some time to
develop a life style that doesn't require my presence."
-
"I've gone into hundreds of
fortune-tellers' parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody
ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her."
-
"I've gone to great lengths to expand my
threshhold of pain."
-
"I've never met a healthy person who
worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his
soul."
-
"I've seen the future and I've left it
all behind."
-
"Jesus loves you, but everyone else
thinks you're an ass." - Anonymous
-
"Jumping up and down on Satan's little
trampoline."
-
"Just because someone agrees with you
doesn't make you right. It just means there's some one else out there as
stupid as you." - Nathan Reed
-
"Just because you are paranoid, does not
mean that they are not out to get you."
-
"Justice is incidental to law and
order." - J. Edgar Hoover
-
"Kill them all. Let God sort it out."
-
"Killing animals for science is wrong, I
think we should do it for fun."
-
"Kindness is loving people more than
they deserve." - Joseph Joubert {Vice and Virtue}
-
"Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4
people make up 75% of the world's population." - Anonymous
-
"Laugh when others fear Hate when others
laugh."
-
"Less than fifteen per cent of the
people do any original thinking on any subject.... The greatest torture in
the world for most people is to think." - Luther Burbank, American
horticulturist (1849-1926)
-
"Let others praise ancient times; I am
glad I was born in these." - Ovid (43 B.C. - A.D. 18)
-
"Let us live so that when we come to die
even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain.
-
"Let's get us some lunch, and let's get
us some puking vampires." - Robert Shurtz, Vampire Trailer Park
-
"Lets us celebrate the pain and havoc we
have wrought."
-
"Life is a prison; death shall be my
release."
-
"Life is cheap when the bounty is high."
-
"Life is hilariously cruel." - Bender,
Futurama
-
"Life is like a grapefruit, orange,
squishy and some people have half a one for breakfast" - DNA (THHGTTG)
-
"Life is like Quake, only it's harder to
find a rocket launcher when you really need one..."
-
"Life is like trying to perform a violin
concert while still learning to play."
-
"Life is nothing more than just a way of
passing the time."
-
"Life is Sexually Transmitted." -
BigDaddyPig
-
"Light travels faster than sound. This
is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." - Anonymous
-
"Like the ski resort full of girls
hunting for husbands and husbands hunting for girls, the situation is not as
symmetrical as it might seem." - Alan Lindsay Mackay, Lecture, Birckbeck
College, 1964
-
"Living in a 365 day 24 hour wartime
reality."
-
"Logic is a system whereby one may go
wrong with confidence." - Charles Kettering
-
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept
those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and
the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they
pissed me off."
-
"Love and a cough
cannot be hidden." - George Herbert
-
"Love cures people; both the ones who
give it, and the ones who receive it." - Karl Menninger
-
"Love doesn't make the world go round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Franklin P. Jones
-
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going
to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Unknown
-
"Love is a given, hatred is acquired." -
Doug Horton
-
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real
thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished." -
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
-
"Love is like a fruit. It may look good,
but you shouldn't bite in it until it's ripe." - Nick Hertl
-
"Love is like an hourglass, with the
heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard
-
"Love is like the measles, all the worse
when it comes late." - Douglas Jerrold
-
"Love is photogenic. It needs darkness
to develop." - Anonymous
-
"Love is seeing without eyes, hearing
without ears; hatred is nothing." - Doug Horton
-
"Love is the answer. But while you're
waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions." - Woody
Allen
-
"Love is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence." - Unknown
-
"Love the neighbor. But don't get
caught." - Anonymous
-
"Love will make you forget time, and
time will make you forget love." - Unknown
-
"Love your neighbors, but don't pull
down the fence." - Chinese proverb
-
"Love your neighbors, but don't pull
down the fence." - Unknown (Chinese proverb)
-
"Love: A temporary insanity cureable
either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred
the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician
than the patient." - The Devil's Dictionary
-
"Love: The delusion that one woman
differs from another." - Henry Louis Mencken
-
"Luck is always on the side of big
battalions."
-
"Many a wife thinks her husband is the
world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it." - Unknown
-
"Marriage is a great institution, but
I'm not ready for an institution yet." - Mae West
-
"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the
birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out." -
Michel de Montaigne
-
"Marriage is not a word -- it is a
sentence." - Unknown
-
"Marriage is the alliance of two people,
one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets." -
Ogden Nash
-
"Marriage is the death of hope." - Woody
Allen
-
"Marriage is the only adventure open to
the cowardly." - Voltaire
-
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination
over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience."
- Oscar Wilde
-
"Math is like love -- a simple idea but
it can get complicated." - R. Drabek {Science and Religion}
-
"Maybe this world is another planet's
hell."
-
"Maybe this world is another planet's
hell." - Aldous Huxley
-
"Memories of tomorrow."
-
"Microsoft made a big deal about Windows
NT getting a C2 security rating. They were much less forthcoming with the
fact that this rating only applied if the computer was not attached to a
network and had no network card, and had its floppy drive epoxied shut, and
was running on a Compaq 386. Solaris's C2 rating was just as silly." - Bruce
Schneier, Secrets & Lies
-
"Money cannot buy love, but it surely
can influence it." - rv
-
"Money is good, love is wealth." - Doug
Horton
-
"Money is not everything. There's Master
card & Visa." - Anonymous
-
"Most management is lazy & incompentent."
- particle
-
"Most people have no ambition. Me, I'm
going to wait right here so opportunity knows right where to find me."
-
"Mud is not one of the 4 food groups." -
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"My advice to you is to get married. If
you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates
-
"My Balogney has a first name it's
H-O-M-E-R. My balogney has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R." - DanFungus
-
"My dumb mouth to your deaf ear."
-
"My homework was not stolen by a
one-armed man." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"My husband gave me a permanent wave,
and now he's gone." - Dawn Messer
-
"My husband said he needed more space.
So I locked him outside." - Roseanne
-
"My life has a superb cast but I can't
figure out the plot." - Ashleigh Brilliant
-
"My mind is empty but my bowels are
full."
-
"My name is not Dr. Death." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"My notion of a wife at forty is that a
man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties." -
Douglas Jerrold
-
"My present aim and ambition is to kill
every single human being on the face of this planet."
-
"My religion consists of a humble
admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." -
Albert Einstein
-
"My strength is hatred, anger and pain."
-
"Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est (Knowledge
is power)" - Francis Bacon
-
"Never attribute to malice that which
can be adequately explained by stupidity."
-
"Never drive faster than your Guardian
Angel can fly!" - Anonymous
-
"Never fire a weapon if you can't
understand the instructions."
-
"Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today." - Anonymous
-
"Never put off until tomorrow what you
can avoid altogether." - Anonymous
-
"Never underestimate the power of very
stupid people in large groups." - Anonymous
-
"No distance of place or lapse of time
can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each
other's worth." - Robert Southey
-
"No man is wise enough or good enough to
be trusted with unlimited power."
-
"No one can drive us crazy unless we
give them the keys." - Doug Horton
-
"No one is interested in my underpants."
- Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Nobody enjoys shooting penguins, but if
you have to shoot penguins, you might as well enjoy it." - Free Waterfall
Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama
-
"None love the bearer of bad news." -
Sophocles
-
"Not only does God play dice, but...he
sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen." - Stephen Hawking
-
"Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently
talented fool." - Anonymous
-
"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching
someone do something that you said couldn't be done."
-
"Nothing is so firmly believed as that
which we least know." - Michel de Montaigne
-
"Nothing lasts forever...so why not
destroy it now?"
-
"Nothing so needs reforming as other
peoples' habits." - Mark Twain
-
"Nuke 'em till they glow."
-
"Nuke me slowly."
-
"O give me commentators plain, Who with
no deep researches vex the brain." - Crabbe
-
"Often the best way to win is to forget
to keep score."
-
"Old age and treachery will overcome
youth and enthusiasm every single time."
-
"Old enough to know, but I'm too young
to care."
-
"Old enough to know, but I'm too young
to care."
-
"Once I wept for I had no shoes. Then I
met a man with no feet, so I took his shoes. I mean, it wasn't as if he was
going to need them." - Anonymous
-
"One does not make friends, one
recognizes them." - Unknown
-
"One of my biggest problems these days
is it is very hard to pretend I'm enthusiastic about work when I know most
work is pointless, run by idiots and in 2 months I'll only be there for the
money." - CheezHankrn
-
"One of the problems of taking things
apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a
cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in
your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism
that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis." - Douglas Adams
Author, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
-
"One should love animals. They are so
tasty." - Anonymous
-
"One way to keep people [on a mailing
list] is give them gifts, another is to kick them when they try to get
away." -Alex Beylin
-
"One way to prevent conversation from
being boring is to say the wrong thing." - Frank Sheed
-
"Only after leaping off a cliff, do you
realize you can't fly." - rv
-
"Only two things are infinite: The
universe and Human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe" - Albert
Einstein
-
"Opening your mouth does create a space
that your foot can fill all too easily."
-
"Order and simplification are the first
steps toward the mastery of a subject." - Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain
-
"Organ transplants are best left to
professionals." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Our reason for existing is unclear at
this moment, please try again at a a later time. - The Bible, updated
version"
-
"Our scientific power has outrun our
spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther
King, Jr.
-
"Pain and death are illusions of a weak
mind."
-
"Pain is an illusion of the body; fear
an illusion of the mind."
-
"Passionate hatred can give meaning and
purpose to an empty life." - Eric Hoffer
-
"Passive activity income does not
include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive
activity." - IRS form 8583, Passive Activity Loss Limitation
-
"Patience is a virtue I haven't the time
for."
-
"Patience is a virtue I haven't the time
for."
-
"Peace is not in my vocabulary."
-
"Peace through tyranny."
-
"People are not meant to sit in cubicles
all day." - Peter Gibbons, Office Space
-
"People don't understand computers.
Computers are magical boxes that do things. People believe what computers
tell them." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies
-
"People who are sensible about love are
incapable of it." - Douglas Yates
-
"People who feel well are sick people
neglecting themselves." - Jules Romains
-
"People who never get carried away
should be." - Malcolm S. Forbes, American publisher.
-
"Perfection (in design) is achieved not
when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to
take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
-
"Perhaps we could write code to optimize
code, then run that code through the code optimizer?" - Anonymous Coward
(/.)
-
"Physics and Law enforcement - if it
weren't for those two, I'd be unstoppable."
-
"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give
some practical results, but that's not why we do it." - Richard Feynman
-
"Politicians are interested in people.
Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." - P.J.
O'Rourke
-
"Practice is the best of all
instructors." - Publilius
-
"Probably all laws are useless; for good
men do not want laws at all, and bad men are made no better by them." -
Demonax (c 150 A.D.)
-
"Programming is the exact science of
driving a person insane. (gotta love it)"
-
"Proof is an idol before which the
mathematician tortures himself." - Sir Arthur Eddington
-
"Punch drunk but Im still sober."
-
"Quick! Take their weapons while they're
wet and stupid." - James Belushi, Sahara
-
"Rainbows apologize for angry skies." -
Sylvia A. Viorol
-
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of
one's ignorance."
-
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of
one's ignorance." - Confucius
-
"Reality is an illusion caused by an
absence of beer."
-
"Reality is very powerful illusion and
if we are not careful we may find ourselves drawn in by it."
-
"Reality, no matter how utopian, seems
to be something people need to frequently take a holiday from."
-
"Reality, no matter how utopian, seems
to be something people need to frequently take a holiday from." - Aldous
Huxley
-
"Reasoning is an art and not a science."
- Wos Et Al., Automated Reasoning, 1984
-
"Reject hatred without hating." - Mary
Baker Eddy: Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures
-
"Remember that computers are all mad" -
CheezHankrn
-
"Remember, the greatest gift is not
found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends." -
Cindy Lew
-
"Rest is not idleness, and to lie
sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the
murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means
a waste of time." - Sir J. Lubbock
-
"Riding hard, breaking bone, with steel
and stone."
-
"Rocks taste like shit but they're easy
to hunt."
-
"Rocks taste like shit but they're easy
to hunt." - The Gravys
-
"Sanity is a fulltime job and I just got
the sack."
-
"Sanity is only for people who can't
bounce a reality check."
-
"Satan is the prove that God is good." -
rv
-
"Save water. Shower with your
girlfriend." - Anonymous
-
"See simplicity in the complicated." -
Lao Tzu
-
"Serendipity is looking in a haystack
for a needle and discovering the Farmer's Daughter."
-
"Serendipity is looking in a haystack
for a needle and discovering the Farmer's Daughter." - Julius H. Comroe.
-
"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and
50% what people think you've got." - Sophia Loren
-
"Sex without love is an empty gesture.
But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best." - Woody Allen: Love and
Death
-
"She's gonna be the next bounce on your
king-size Posturepedic, isn't she?" - Wendy MacDonald, Legal Tender
-
"She's the kind of woman you could fall
madly in bed with." - Unknown
-
"Should I listen to the voices in my
head?"
-
"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you
a loser."
-
"Since the dawn of time I've rode across
the earth."
-
"Sit your five-dollar ass down before I
make change." - Wesley Snipes, New Jack City
-
"Smith & Wesson: The original point and
click interface."
-
"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey,
we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what
do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give it to you. We just want to do
it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then
we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You
haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs
on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's
personal computer in 1976.
-
"Some people are merely alive because it
is against the law to kill them."
-
"Some people confuse laziness with
fear." - Spermbirds
-
"Sometimes I need what only you can
provide -- your absence." - Ashleigh Brilliant
-
"Sometimes I think you have to march
right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights
are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the
door." - mr. h4x0r sig
-
"Sometimes they write what I say and not
what I mean." - Pedro Guerrero, baseball player, on reporters
-
"sorry i dont understand humor; unless
it's my humor, then i almost always get it..." - Rally1
-
"Space isn’t remote at all. It’s only an
hour’s drive away if your car could go straight upwards."
-
"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Lets
Party!' "
-
"Statistics show 50% of the people use
the internet. The rest have sex with real people." - Jay Leno
-
"Stop sending money send'em all a bomb."
-
"Stupid people shouldn't breed."
-
"Succeed in spite of management." -
Anonymous
-
"Success is a relative term. It brings
so many relatives." - Anonymous
-
"Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is liking what you get."
-
"Success is the ability to go from one
failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
-
"Supervision is the key to all
screw-ups." - particle
-
"Systematically identity top designers
as early as possible. The best are often not the most experienced." -
Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month
-
"Talk not of wasted affection; affection
never was wasted." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
-
"Teacher is not a leper." - Bart
Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"TEAMWORK...means never having to take
all the blame yourself." - Anonymous
-
"Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal."
-
"Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal." - Albert Einstein
-
"Tell the truth and run." - Yugoslav
proverb
-
"Tell your parent's to use
contraceptives."
-
"That bitch treated me like a used pair
of panty hose at a swap meet." - Tanya Roberts, Legal Tender
-
"That which doesn't kill me had better
be able to run away damn fast." - a sig
-
"That which doesn't kill me... had
better be able to run away damn fast."
-
"That? It's nothing. Yes. Nothing. If
you think it's anything, you're a suspicious moron." - Professor, Futurama
-
"That's the issue that I've been
exploring: How did the Republic turn into the Empire? That's paralleled
with: How did Anakin turn into Darth Vader? How does a good person go bad,
and how does a democracy become a dictatorship? It isn't that the Empire
conquered the Republic, it's that the Empire is the Republic." - George
Lucas
-
"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a
50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll
get it wrong." - Anonymous
-
"The absent are never without fault, nor
the present without excuse." - Benjamin Franklin
-
"The Analytical Engine has no
pretensions whatever to originate anything. It can do whatever we know how
to order it to perform." - Ada Byron, Countess of Lovelace
-
"The author should gaze at Noah, and ...
learn, as they did in the Ark, to croud a great deal matter into a very
small compass." - Sydney Smith, Edinburgh Review
-
"The average tourist wants to go to
places where there are no tourists."
-
"The bad highlights the good." - rv
-
"The beatings will continue until morale
improves." - Anonymous
-
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It
starts the moment you get up and doesn't stop untill you get into the
office."
-
"The C language is particularly rich
with ways of writing a program that totally hide the original design
intent." - Stanley Chow
-
"The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy."
- Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"The Christmas Pageant does not stink."
- Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"The Concorde was great. It travels at
twice the speed of sound. Which is fun except you can't hear the movie until
two hours after you land." - Howie Mandel
-
"The darkness holds a power that cannot
be found in the day."
-
"The dumb is always righter than the
smart because there's more of us!" - Ken Kesey, Sailor Song
-
"The Earth is full of beautiful women,
And those that arn't... have wonderful personalities." - Third Rock from the
Sun.
-
"The essence of true friendship is to
make allowances for another's little lapses." - David Storey
-
"The essence of war is violence,
Moderation in war is imbecility."
-
"The essential quality of a proof is to
compel belief." - Fermat
-
"The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist." - Anonymous
-
"The flush toilet is the basis of
western civilization." - Alan Coult
-
"The fundamental problem with program
maintenance is that fixing a defect has a substantial chance of introducing
another." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month
-
"The future has a way of arriving
unannounced."
-
"The future, according to some
scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive." - John
Sladek
-
"The gods gave man fire and he invented
fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage." - Unknown
-
"The greatest man is but a ripple on the
surface of existence."
-
"The heart has its reasons that reason
knows nothing of." - Blaise Pascal {Happiness and Misery}
-
"The human race does not have a very
good record of intelligent behavior." - Stephen Hawking, The Universe In A
Nutshell
-
"The hunger for love is much more
difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." - Mother Teresa
-
"The idea of a Being who interfere with
the sequence of events in the world is absolutely impossible." -A. Einstein,
1931
-
"The idea that Bill Gates has appeared
like a knight in shining armor to lead all his customers out of a mire of
technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who by peddling
second-hand, second-rate technology, led them all into it in the first
place." - Douglas Adams Author, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
-
"The imagination loses vitality as it
ceases to adhere to what is real." - Wallace Stevens
-
"the internet? is that thing still
around?" - homer simpson
-
"The key is not to die for your country,
but make the other bastard die for his!" - Gen. George Patton.
-
"The main thing we learn from our
mistakes is that we make a lot of them."
-
"The map is not the territory; the name
is not the thing named." - Alfred Korzybski
-
"The mind being, as I have declared,
furnished with a great number of the simple ideas conveyed in by the senses,
as they are found in exterior things, or by reflection on its own
operations, take notice, also, that a certain number of these simple ideas
go constantly together... which, by inadvertency, we apt afterward to talk
of and condier as one simple idea." - John Locke, Essay Concerning Human
Understanding
-
"The mind is a terrible thing to taste."
-
"The mind is a terrible thing to
waste--don't make me waste yours." - Jimmy Medina Taggert, Class of 1999
-
"The more people I meet, the more I like
my dog."
-
"The more we are filled with thoughts of
lust the less we find true romantic love." - Doug Horton
-
"The more you learn, the more you know.
The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you
know. So why bother to learn." - Anonymous
-
"The most important thing a father can
do for his children is love their mother." - Unknown
-
"The mountain screamed three times
today. I guess it thought I'd like to play." - Monster Magnet
-
"The next step is to configure the X
server. That is covered in detail in an as-yet unwritten document :-(." -
XFree86 4.1 Installation Guide
-
"The nice thing about egotists is that
they don't talk about other people."
-
"The oldest and strongest emotion of
mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the
unknown."
-
"The only thing new in the world is the
history you don't know." - Harry S. Truman
-
"The only thing that makes me smile is
... Your pain. To say Im not enjoying this would be insane."
-
"The only time suppressive fire works is
when it is used on abandoned positions."
-
"The only way to make music that cannot
be copied is to make music that cannot be heard. The only way to make movies
that cannot be copied is to make movies that cannot be viewed." - Gene Kan
before the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing titled "Music on the Internet:
Is There an Upside to Downloading?"
-
"The only way to rectify our reasonings
is to make them as tangible as those of the mathematicians, so that we can
find our error at a glance, and when there are disputes among persons we can
simply say 'Let us calculate ... to see who is right.'" - Leigniz, The Art
of Discovery
-
"The opinions expressed here are mine
and may not reflect reality."
-
"The opposite of love is not hate, the
opposite of love is ignorance." - Brian Hwang
-
"The Path of the righteous man is beset
on all sides, by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed are those, who in the name of charity and justice, shepherd the
weak, through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper,
and the finder of lost children. And I will STRIKE down upon thee with GREAT
vengeance and FURIOUS anger, THOSE, who attempt to poison and destroy my
brothers! And you will know, my name is the LORD, when I lay my vengeance
upon thee! - Eziekel 25:17." - The Holy Bible (apparently), and/or Samuel L
Jackson, Pulp Fiction
-
"The practices that make up XP can be
learned by anyone who has convinced someone else to pay them to program." -
Kent Beck, Extreme Programming Explained
-
"The principal's toupee is not a
Frisbee." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"The root of all superstition is that
men observe when a thing hits but not when it misses." - Francis Bacon
-
"The secret of self esteem to lower your
expectations to the point were they are already met."
-
"The sight of a laser dot can have a
strong psychological impact on the target."
-
"The software box said 'Requires
Windows95 or better'. So I installed Linux."
-
"The surest sign that a man is in love
is when he divorces his wife." - Unknown
-
"The task of mathematics consists in the
organization of a series of aids to the imagination in the process of
reasoning." - A. N. Whitehead
-
"The terrorists attacked our freedom,
and now our government is finishing the job." - anon US citizen
-
"The things that come to those that wait
may be the things left by those who got there first." - Anonymous
-
"The trouble with the rat race is that
even if you win, you're still a rat." - Lily Tomlin
-
"The truth is just an excuse for a lack
of imagination"
-
"The truth is just an excuse for a lack
of imagination." - Garak, ST-DS9
-
"The value of an idea has nothing to do
with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed the probabilities are
that the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the
idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured by either his wants, his
desires or his prejudices." - Oscar Wilde
-
"The voices in my head say I should go
see a shrink but I don't believe them."
-
"The weak have one weapon: the errors of
those who think they are strong."
-
"The wise never marry, and when they
marry they become otherwise." - Anonymous
-
"The world holds two classes of
men--intelligent men without religion, and religious men without
intelligence." - Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri, Syrian Poet (973-1057)
-
"The world needs anger. The world often
continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough."
-
"The world stands aside to let anyone
pass who knows where he is going." - David Starr Jordan
-
"There are already a million monkeys on
a million typewriters, and Slashdot is NOTHING like Shakespeare..." -
Anonymous
-
"There are no shortcuts to any place
worth going."
-
"There are plenty of businesses like
show business." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"There are two sides to every divorce:
yours and the shithead's." - Unknown
-
"There is a certain freedom in being
totally screwed. It means that nothing you do is going to make it any
worse."
-
"There is less in this than meets the
eye."
-
"There is no difference between a wise
man and a fool when they fall in love." - Unknown
-
"There is no problem in this world so
intractable or complicated that it cannot be solved by killing anyone even
remotely connected to it."
-
"There is no reason anyone would want a
computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of
Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
-
"There is no single development, in
either technology or management technique, which by itself promises even one
order-of-magnitude improvement within a decade in productivity, in
reliability, in simplicity." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical
Man-Month
-
"There is no such thing as excessive
violence."
-
"There is nothing in this world constant
but inconstancy." - Swift
-
"There is only one happiness in life: to
love and be loved." - George Sand
-
"There should be a better way to start a
day than waking up every morning." - Anonymous
-
"There's a fine line between genius and
insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant
-
"There's an entire flight simulator
hidden in every copy of Microsoft Excel 97." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets &
Lies
-
"There's nothing to match curling up
with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house." -
Joe Ryan
-
"These studies revealed large individual
differences between high and low performers, often by an order of
magnitude." - Sackman, Erikson, and Grant
-
"They can because they think they can."
- Virgil
-
"They have been to a great feast of
languages, and stolen the scraps." - William Shakespeare, Love's Labours
Lost
-
"They were few in number but by the look
in their eye I could see that they would leave only in victory or death."
-
"They would say I don't have faith.
Crap, I do. I would say their faith shows how much they are allowing
themselves to be mislead." - CheezHankrn
-
"This punishment is not boring and
pointless." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"This world is comedy to those that
think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole
-
"Those are my principles. If you don't
like them I have others." - Groucho Marx.
-
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies
like a banana." - Anonymous
-
"To achieve C3 security rating using
Microsoft Windows, simply power down the machine. ;-)" - Particle
-
"To only a fraction of the human race
does God give the privilege of earning one's bread doing what one would have
gladly pursued free, for passion." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr.
-
"To understand recursion, one must first
understand recursion." - Anonymous
-
"Today is a week of stupidness"
-
"Today is a week of stupidness."
-
"Tonight's weather: Dark with continued
darkness until dawn."
-
"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."
- Mae West.
-
"Treasure your relationships, not your
possessions." - Anthony J. D'Angelo: The College Blue Book {Wealth and
Poverty}
-
"True friendship is like sound health --
the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." - Charles Caleb Colton
-
"True friendship is seen through the
heart, not through the eyes." - Unknown
-
"Truth has a way of shifting under
pressure." - Curtis Bok, U. S. federal judge (1897-1962)
-
"Truth is fiction when spilled from the
lips of a man"; - Lisa Tillotson
-
"Truth will come sooner out of error
than from confusion." - Francis Bacon
-
"Trying to apply formal methods to all
software projects is just as bad as trying to apply code-and-fix development
to all projects." - Steve McConnell, After The Gold Rush
-
"Under capitalism man exploits man.
Under communism it's the other way around." - Anonymous
-
"Underwear should be worn on the
inside." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
-
"Victory does not always go with the big
guns but if we rest in front of them we shall be lost."
-
"Wanted: Young, skinny, wirey fellows
not over 18. Must be expert riders willing to risk death daily. Orphans
preferred. Wages $25 per week." - Pony Express advertisement, 1860
-
"WARNING: Reality.SYS corrupted. Reboot
universe? Y/N"
-
"We all get heavier as we get older
because there's a lot more information in our heads." - Vlade Divac, NBA
basketball player
-
"We are all in the gutter, but some of
us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde
-
"We are continually faced with a series
of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." - John
W. Gardner
-
"We are what we pretend to be." - Kurt
Vonnegut, Jr.
-
"We are what we see, hear, feel, smell,
and taste." -Vildman
-
"We believe in war only if we somehow
start one." - Christian, TheSpark
-
"We didn't inherit the land from our
fathers. We are borrowing it from our children." - Amish belief
-
"We don't look for truths, just
excuses." - Pierce Thorne
-
"We give definitions to everything, all
definitions are relative, and no one definition is correct." -Particle
-
"We have all passed a lot of water since
then." - Samuel Goldwyn
-
"We have already gone so far down the
road of serving computers that we’ve come to accept our servitude as
necessary. It isn’t. It is time for us to rise up with a profound demand:
'Make our computers simpler to use!' Make them talk to us, do things for us,
get the information we want, help us work with other people, and adapt to
our individual needs. Only then will computers make us productive and truly
serve us, instead of the other way around." - Michael L. Dertouzos, Director
of the MIT Laboratory for Computer Science, in his book The Unfinished
Revolution
-
"We have no butter, but I ask you, would
you rather have butter or guns? Shall we import lard or steel? Let me tell
you, preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat. Steel?
Lard?" - Herman Goering to Hitler during WWII
-
"We need healthy young earth studs to
repopulate our world--we need your love rocket." - Jasae, Bad Girls From
Mars
-
"We waste time, so you don't have to." -
Anonymous
-
"We would have thought it was an
accidental shooting if the defendant hadn't stopped to change
clips....TWICE!"
-
"Wedding is destiny, and hanging
likewise." - John Heywood
-
"What have I learned but the proper use
of several tools?" - Gary Snyder, What have I learned
-
"What is bad without good?" - rv &
particle
-
"What is Mind? Doesn't Matter... What is
Matter? Never Mind..." -Homer J. Simpson.
-
"What is positive without negative?" -
rv & particle
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"What is wrong without right?" - rv &
particle
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"What the public wants is the image of
passion, not passion itself." - Roland Barthes
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"What the world really needs is more
love and less paperwork." - Pearl Bailey
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"What we do not understand we do not
possess." - Goethe
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"What we have to learn to do, we learn
by doing..." - Aristotle, Ethics
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"What you do speaks so loud that I
cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"What's blood for if not to spill?"
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"What's past is prologue." - William
Shakespeare, The Tempest
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"When a man steals your wife, there is
no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry
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"When asked to provide an estimate of
something big, the most honest thing to do is to stall." - Robert L. Read
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"When everything seems to be going
against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with
it." - Henry Ford
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"When falling in love, some lose their
head, others lose their heart." - Unknown
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"When I get to heaven I'm gonna find the
guy in charge of the weather and kick his rear." - Anonymous
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"When it rained I used to think that
Zeus was pissing through a sieve!" - Strepsiades from Aristophanes Clouds
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"When love turns into dust, money
becomes the substitution." - D. H. Lawrence
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"When something is made idiot proof,
they will just make better idiots." - Anonymous
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"When terrorists knock down buildings,
when drought wipes our farmers, when the economy threatens to come to a
halt, even those who are ideologically hostile to the government turn to it,
both logically and reflexively, for help. We suddenly trust Washington not
because it has done something new to earn our trust but because the
alternative of not trusting it has suddenly become too terrifying to
contemplate." - Jacob Weisberg, The New York Times Magazine, October 21st,
2001
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"When the going gets tough, the tough
take a coffee break." - Anonymous
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"When there's no more room in Hell, the
dead will walk the Earth." - Anonymous
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"When two people are under the influence
of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of
passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited,
abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part." -
George Bernard Shaw
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"When two's company, three's the
result!" - Anonymous
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"When you go into court you are putting
your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get
out of jury duty." - Norm Crosby
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"Where in gods name is the chicken?"
-
"Where is the knowledge we have lost in
information?" - T. S. Eliot, Choruses from the Rock
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"Who is General Failure and why is he
reading my hard disk?"
-
"Who knows who wrote the paperclip in MS
office? If it were open source, you could go to his house and shoot him." -
Anonymous
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"Whoever thinks a faultless piece to
see, Thinks what ne'er was, nor is, nor e'er shall be." - Alexander Pope, An
Essay on Criticism
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"Why bother wasting time learning when
ignorance is instantaneous?"
-
"Why don't you buy a self help book?
Make people feel less like hitting you with a brick."
-
"Why don't you buy a self help book?
Make people feel less like hitting you with a brick." - NYPD Blue.
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"Why make trillions when
we can make...BILLIONS" Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) in Austin Powers: The Spy Who
Shagged Me
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"Why were humans placed on this earth?
To provide tigers with some important proteins."
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"Wisdom is the beginning of fear."
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"Without death, pain loses its
relevance."
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"Women make love for love, men make love
for lust." - Derrick Harge {Men and Women}
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"Words are sharper than swords, but I
like the blood."
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"Working for fun is good, working for
money is better." - particle
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"World War III will be a guerilla
information war, with no division between military and civilian
participation" - Herbert Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980)
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"You are never as good as you seem when
you're hot and you're never as bad as you seem when you're cold." -
Anonymous
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"You can listen to thunder after
lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it,
you got hit, so never mind."
-
"You can never plan the future by the
past." - Edmund Burke
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"You can't put a price tag on love, but
you can on all it's accessories."
-
"You can't say civilizations don't
advance . . . in every war they kill you in a new way." - Will Rogers
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"You fight well because you treat war as
a religion. We fight well because we treat war as a business."
-
"You gotta rob to get rich in the Reagan
era." - Wesley Snipes, New Jack City
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"You know I've only got one friend And
his name is Alcohol."
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"You know, I've never killed a man
before. I mean I dropped bombs on the enemy from the above, but never face
to face. [thinking pause] I don't see what the big deal is - I really
don't." - John Travolta, Broken Arrow
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"You know, somebody actually
complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the
windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'" - Tommy Cooper
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"You know, sometimes I think that
getting my balls blown off was the best thing that ever happened to me."
-
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't
take." - The Great One
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"You really have to admire Microsoft for
its proficiency at what it does. You also have to admire the proficiency of
sharks, scorpions, and black widow spiders." - Sean M. Dugan
-
"You simply cannot understand
psychedelic drugs, which activate the brain, unless you understand something
about computers." - Dr Timothy Leary
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"You will find it a distinct help if you
know and look as if you know what you are doing." - IRS Training Manual for
tax auditors
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"You'd PAY to know what you REALLY
think." -Dobbs 1961
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"Your friends aren't necessarily the
people you like best, They're just the ones who got there first." -
Anonymous
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"Your future depends on your dreams." So
go to sleep." - Anonymous
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"Your poverty highlights my riches." -
rv
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"You're just jealous because the voices
in my head don't talk to you."
-
"You're not quite evil enough. You're
semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet
Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough." - Mike Myers as Dr. Evil
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"You've no idea of what a poor opinion I
have of myself, and how little I deserve it." - W.S. Gilbert