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ACT to foster happiness, peace, prosperity, and tolerance in the Middle East
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Ladies Vs. REAL Women
LADIES - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
REAL WOMEN - If you over-salt a dish while you're cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
LADIES - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMEN - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares!
LADIES - Stuff a miniature marshmallow at the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
REAL WOMEN - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You're probably sitting on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
LADIES - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
REAL WOMEN - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
LADIES - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the side of the cake.
REAL WOMEN - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
LADIES - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMEN - Sara Lee frozen freakin' pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so I don't do it.
LADIES - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMEN - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip....
LADIES! - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
REAL WOMEN - Leftover wine??
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