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ACT to foster happiness, peace, prosperity, and tolerance in the Middle East
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You know you are Lebanese when
You
know you are Lebanese when more than half of these apply to you.
Please send me any new ideas.
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You make Turkish coffee before leaving home, when getting to the office, after lunch, when having guests, before the guests leave, after the guests leave and before going to bed.
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When shops have sale they call your mom.
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You call an older person you've never met before "Ammo" or "Khaltu".
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You hide everything from your parents, but they still think they know everything about you, and make you believe that they actually do.
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People are never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Oqbal el Shahadeh el kbeereh", and when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos or Areees", and when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be aoulad-kum", and when you get that "Oqbal ma tefrahu bi shahadit-hum", etc...
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If you are a boy you start worrying about the Swiss Mukhabarat when you reach puberty.
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Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby, everybody tells you "mabrook"
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You learn how to beg the personnel at the airport to allow the excess baggage you've got as soon as your father stops doing that for you.
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You dream of holding a different passport.
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When you FLY BACK home you find 20 people waiting for you at the airport.
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Every time you fly back home you meet relatives you never knew existed, and they look nothing like your family.
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You look for universities as far away from home as possible.
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You always curse at Lebanese when you are back home, but when you live abroad you mostly make Lebanese friends.
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When you come back from University you still have to live with your parents, and fight over curfew all over again, as if you never left them before.
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Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
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Everyone is a family friend.
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You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
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You teach Westerners to swear words in your language.
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When you go on a date you start thinking of lousy places where nobody would go to so you won’t bump into family or friends.
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You end up in a lousy place and still bump into the relative with the biggest mouth.
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You think you are liberated when you can't even smoke in public.
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If you are 25 and not married yet, your parents make you feel that you are getting too old.
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Getting married becomes the only way you can escape your parents.
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You tell your friends how to rebel against their parents when you can't even stay out past midnight.
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You always say, "Open the light" instead of "Turn the light on" or "get down from the car" instead of "get out of the car."
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You pronounce your p's as b's (bebsi and bolice).
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You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
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Your parents were ranked first in school.
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Your dad swears at you with words that affect him. (Ibnil kalb)
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You tell everyone that you are a "successful businessman back home" when you are really just an unemployed goat herder.
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You feel uncomfortable saying the word 'tease' in English.
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You eat mensef with your bare hands.
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You smoke as if there is no tomorrow and you only smoke MARLBORO REDS.
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You only walk on the streets in groups of seven or more people and talk really really loud in Lebanese together.
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You wear a black leather jacket, even when it is 100 degrees outside.
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You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
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If you are a Lebanese girl you give the look of death to another Lebanese girl who looks better than you.
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Your aunt is always asking when she can dance at your wedding.
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More funny jokes are listed on the left hand side or listed in the Jokes page.
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