Do you have a mother like this one?
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something
to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and
eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on
the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that
spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept
through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I
saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you
a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your
father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MOM!
More funny jokes are listed on the left hand side or
listed in the Jokes page.
More entertaining content is featured in the
Fun section.
c
|